#18 Shelter at home – being alone

Writing prompt – Tell me about times you have been alone (Natalie Goldberg)

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It is 9:00 am and I sit writing. My husband is showering, my grandson is napping and I have talked to my daughter for a few minutes as she dropped him off. She is returning home to work – creating distance learning for her staff and students. I have checked in with my sister by phone, she lives alone, and is fighting a cold and spring allergies making her fear of Covid-19 even greater. This afternoon we will drive over and pick up my brother in-law who is recovering from brain surgery. He will come to be with us for a few hours. He just needs to see something other than his four walls. He lives alone.

I do not.

I read over a few posts this morning and tumbled on to litcoachlady’s post on being alone. Her post is what got me on to this topic. She was thinking and had written in response to Natalie Goldberg’s prompt about times you have been alone. It’s well done so please go read it here.

It got me thinking about now where we are all distancing ourselves. It made me think about how I have seldom been alone. Oh yeah – I have spent nights alone, have traveled to visit friends alone but I have never really lived alone.

I have stayed in my house, apartment, dorm room alone but I have not lived alone. I have not spend months or years where I come home to a house that is quiet or will remain quiet. I have always lived with my mother as a child, friends in college, husband as we left college, and children as they joined us alone the way of life. People have been a large part of my life.

I have been able to take comfort in the fact that there is noise around me, a person to turn to if needed quickly, another human presence in the house. All of that is a sometimes hidden comfort in times like this when fear rides underneath the daily things we do. I do not take that for granted. I like and need private time but that time is a choice not a way of being.

My heart goes out to those how find themselves “sheltering at home” and alone. This kind of alone time can be particularly hard I think. Certainly the internet helps – the ability to send notes and get answers fairly quickly, to “see” people on FaceBook and converse, picking up the phone and making calls makes a big difference but it is not the same thing as face to face conversation. It is not the same as getting a different view than the one outside your window with people to share it with.

During this time when we are apart let’s remember especially those who may be further apart – alone in their homes. Make that extra call every few days, check in by email, send a funny picture or a link to something you are reading or watching. If you found a good book let them know or even send it to them – digitally or otherwise. Just let them know they are not really alone. Let them know you are there and this will pass and we will gather again to enjoy the sun, a picnic or a cup of tea at our favorite shop. We are strong and will make it though this but support from friends and community will be important.