#23 Hello out there

I have showered. I have watered plants. I have put the towels in the laundry. I have made two cups of tea and found the pretzels. I have answered e-mails, peaked at FaceBook and walked around the house several times. I have watched the over night snowfall melt into puddles on the deck. I have viewed the titles to a lot of posts from other teachers and realize I have missed some great writing.

I am wandering. After writing days of moving forward posts, and be positive posts I have hit a wall. Today I am in a deep writers block. I do not want to write about this situations any more. I do not want to be a sad sack or a complainer.

I am good at small tasks – like the watering plants but can’t seem to manage the large task of planting seeds for the spring garden. It would be good for me but a big task that takes thinking is not something I can do right now.

I am reading short articles but can’t seem to find the focus to read a novel or the three non fiction books on trees and plants that I started a few weeks ago.

It occurred to me finally that this is just how I was after my heart attack or after surgery for breast cancer years and years ago. The sustained focus is gone for a short while. The stress and healing takes a great deal of energy. I need to not worry about this as well.

I appear just fine to those in this closed space of home but inside my nerves have surfaced and the stress is coming out in my lack of focus. It means I need to be kind to myself as well as others. I need to lower my expectations of what I get done and do. Maybe it is ok to watch the puddles form on the deck. It is fine to not finish the three non fiction books this week. Maybe it is fine to seek out a funny movie in the middle of the day.

Maybe it is ok to write a short post  – just to say hello out there.

So for today:

Hello – hope this finds you well and being kind to yourself and others!

Catch you tomorrow – hopefully with a smile on my face!

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About Joanne Toft

I am a retired Minneapolis Public School teacher. I walk, garden, help in schools and write. Life is good!
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9 Responses to #23 Hello out there

  1. Anna Maria says:

    Hello to you too. Despite the dreary weather here I’ve been enjoying the sounds of the birds. Maybe you could listen to them for a few minutes too and that would help you feel a little better. Stay healthy!

  2. margaretsmn says:

    Joanne, I felt this same lack of focus funk today. A Zoom yoga class helped. And I took a shower. Now I have my shoes on with no place to get, except to get the mail. It’s hard for me to focus without a to-do list.

  3. Trina Bartel says:

    Hello to you as well, and I am glad that you showed up. May you take care of yourself and find some joy in this time.

  4. Adrienne says:

    I am also struggling with focus. Did you see Donalyn Miller’s Nerdy Book Club post yesterday? She’s having trouble reading, too! Do what you can and take care of yourself.

  5. hsatlas says:

    I am SO with you! I had the exact same feelings today. I’ve tried to be upbeat and focus on the positive moments, but today was rough. I, too, am struggling with focus and I liken this to when I experienced the sudden death of a close family member when I was 26. I walked around in a fog for weeks. It was interesting to read the Donalyn Miller post and see that even the Book Whisperer is struggling to read. Thanks for you insightful and honest words.

    • Joanne Toft says:

      Thanks – yes I read Donalyn’s post as well. I think we are all in the same spot these days. Good to name it and then slowly take steps to move forward. I have been out on a walk and it helped my mood. Hang in there.

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