I have showered. I have watered plants. I have put the towels in the laundry. I have made two cups of tea and found the pretzels. I have answered e-mails, peaked at FaceBook and walked around the house several times. I have watched the over night snowfall melt into puddles on the deck. I have viewed the titles to a lot of posts from other teachers and realize I have missed some great writing.
I am wandering. After writing days of moving forward posts, and be positive posts I have hit a wall. Today I am in a deep writers block. I do not want to write about this situations any more. I do not want to be a sad sack or a complainer.
I am good at small tasks – like the watering plants but can’t seem to manage the large task of planting seeds for the spring garden. It would be good for me but a big task that takes thinking is not something I can do right now.
I am reading short articles but can’t seem to find the focus to read a novel or the three non fiction books on trees and plants that I started a few weeks ago.
It occurred to me finally that this is just how I was after my heart attack or after surgery for breast cancer years and years ago. The sustained focus is gone for a short while. The stress and healing takes a great deal of energy. I need to not worry about this as well.
I appear just fine to those in this closed space of home but inside my nerves have surfaced and the stress is coming out in my lack of focus. It means I need to be kind to myself as well as others. I need to lower my expectations of what I get done and do. Maybe it is ok to watch the puddles form on the deck. It is fine to not finish the three non fiction books this week. Maybe it is fine to seek out a funny movie in the middle of the day.
Maybe it is ok to write a short post – just to say hello out there.
So for today:
Hello – hope this finds you well and being kind to yourself and others!
Catch you tomorrow – hopefully with a smile on my face!