It is Monday and we began the week with a different kind of day. It started with me up at 4:00 am sick. My throat was sore again. My head full and it was pushing at my ears. I have been fighting something for a few weeks. I think I am well and then bam in the middle of the night it all come rushing back.
Add to this we got a text just before going to bed Sunday night. “Little Man is sick – not real sick but he can’t go to school can he come to your house?”
Sure why not we can be sick together. I am trying to get into the clinic to sort myself out but that will wait till Tuesday morning. (Tuesday note – yep got to the clinic and now can pick up antibiotics. Yes – health is on the way)
Little Man arrives in Dad’s arm – head down and looking weary. He does rally and sets up his drawing station. But when sick nothing last long. He wants to play a game he is creating and is mad and upset because he needs four humans to play it and there are only three of us. “Why can’t you make another human? I need one.” Not sure how to answer that other than – No I can’t. Your game can include more stuffies but no more humans.
We plod our way through the day. A trip to Target to get paints for a project. He sleeps on the way, in the cart at the check out and on the way home. (We live about 20 minutes from Target. Not a long ride.) We try for lunch but no eating and then off for a three hour nap.
We both needed the nap. Mine was not three hours.
We painted a hand print chick in a cut out egg. We are thinking spring today. Then we head out to color with chalk in the late afternoon sun. He was grumpy, had not eaten and then mades this statement as his Mom shows up. Well, a statement and a question.
“I want to die. ”
WHAT? All our eyes pop open but then we realize this is a four year old. His mom, the always teacher, calmly say – Why are you thinking about death? He looks at all of us and say “what is is death?” Mom replies, “When you die. That is what death is.”
I am sitting drinking my tea thinking ‘oh boy’ this should be interesting and I am so glad his mom is here to field these hard questions.
Their conversation continues and we come to find out he is curious about dying and where do you go? What happens when you die? This is why he wants to die. He wants to know what it is all about. z
Mom explains we don’t know. She lets him know that no one really knows but many people have beliefs about what happens. Some believe you go to a lovely, happy place. Others think you return to the earth and others believe you come back to earth as another person.
Little Man thinks about this for a minute or so and then he responds “Oh like you become a baby again. Hey Mom do you remember the name of the planet that is not in our solar system that could have life on it. I would like go there.”
We asked “are you still interested in being an astronaut?” “Nope he says I am going to be an artist. Did you see the bunny I made?” That was the end of that. Hard Questions that needed simple answers for now.
I thought about it later and realize he has had exposure to two deaths within the last 6 months. A elderly neighbor past away at the end of the year. Then a close friend of his Moms just lost her mother suddenly and Little Man’s parents went to the funeral while he was at his other Grandparents. It makes sense on a quiet day he might have thought about what death means. So many big questions from little ones.
On that note he headed home hopefully to feel better tomorrow. I had dinner hoping to feel better tomorrow as well.
And we will leave these hard questions for another day! Thanks Missy for your simple as easy response to a big question.
Words from JL 
May you and Little Man feel better soon. You capture the words of a child well. This resonates- “Hard Questions that needed simple answers for now.”
Hard questions need thoughtful answers with just amount of information that can be processed by the person asking. His mom handled things beautifully. Hope you both are feeling better.
I love his deep thinking and the respect you each offered him, exploring together. How fascinating that he simply wants to “try” death, because he is curious. This post will be a lovely memory to keep for him. Hope you are both on the mend soon!!
This is lovely. The answers to Little Man his mother provides give balance to the unknown. I also love that kids move on. Thanks for sharing this.