Yesterday was a day of Little Man learning and thinking about listening. Today I am listening in a different way – through the floor. Our construction project is on the move. The plumbers are here moving things around in the basement. Big time moves so we can put in a shower and improve the laundry room.
I am staying out of the way. I am listening from the upstairs. I am hearing them and trusting the conversation will create great results. I am letting my contractor navigate the issues and changes. They do know what they are doing. I know that and trust it.
This is a “mans” world today. The strong woman in me would step in and listen as I stand among the men. But the thinking woman knows that these guys will listen to my contractor more than me. The thinking woman knows that I will not change who these guys are and I want the bathroom and basement project to work and be done well. So this is a time to step back and trust that they will sort out the plan I created. They will find the issues that an old house has with crazy plumbing of the past. They will be creative about how to solve them without changing the main layout of the plan.
It is a lesson for me in how to be patience and lay back. A lesson in how respect them and their knowledge. They will be in charge today and yet my voice was heard.
As an older woman there are plenty of times when my voice was silenced or I silenced myself in order to feel safe or stay out of the fray of an argument or maybe even just a simple disagreement. Over time women have learned to speak up, to be stronger in our needs and wants. It is great to come out from under that feeling of being inferior or not heard and then not speaking because of it.
I also know that in any situation no matter who is involved it is best to observe and make decisions about when to speak and when to listen or when to just move out of the situation all together. Communication can be tricky. We all need to learn when to be strong and hold our ground and when to let things work themselves out without an added voice.
I must say our country, maybe our world needs to be able to listen more and know when to speak and when to listen. It all comes down to respect of all of those around us. How do we communicate with respect, and care for all in little situations like our home, or larger situations like a school strike happening in our city or world issue of war in Ukraine.
My little situation is working out fine but the large city and world issues still have me worried.
Words from JL 
Oh, Joanne, you did a wonderful job moving us from your current situation, to past situations and then on to the larger topics of communication and today’s troubled world. This is a well-written and significant post. I, too, have had to learn to be more assertive. It took years! Communication is a delicate balancing act and you offer good advice in this slice.Thank you.
More listening would help us avoid interpersonal conflicts, misunderstandings with colleagues, and wars. Too bad everyone doesn’t have the goal to listen more and talk less.