This is not what I had planned to write for day two but it was an idea I pulled from another slicer on day one (thank you Terje for the idea) I don’t want to write a mini autobiography but thought I might write a bit about how I see myself after retirement. Who I am is a bit different that who I was.
But…
I have re written this post a couple times and find this is a hard topic to write about. I have come to the Buddhist thinking that there are no words for who we are. After writing about things I do, then writing about what I believe in – I find I have no words to tell you who I am really. I can tell you things I do and believe in but are they who I am?
(I know a bit deep for a blog post but hey – I am old and reflective and this is where my thinking takes me. )
This idea of who we really are in itself is interesting to me. I alway identified by the things I do – teacher, mom, wife, reader, gardener. Then the new things I have started – painting, yoga, mediation. These are the outward expression of who I am. They are not who I am but what I do.
These things represent the activities that are important to me. I guess the deeper part of me – the beliefs I hold are inside these activities as well. I am a person who believes in peace and a healthy life/world for all. I am a person who seeks quiet through gardens, painting, mediation and yoga.
I was a person of “yes, I will”. A do anything without thinking person. I just wanted to please others.
I am now a person who stops and asks does that really align with what I believe and want to do. Is that activity helping the earth, my family and myself? Do I really want to engage with those thoughts or energy? I am more apt to say “no” now. I am a person who makes more choices because life is short and I am “old”. I have become a more reflective person.
I was a teacher, a mom, a wife, a sometime blogger and story writer, reader, 
gardener of sorts, and a person who spent too much time working. Now seven years after I stopped teaching I am finding I have changed. Some things are beginning to fall away and others are developing into new or deeper interests and skills. These things or activities are changing me. It is funny how aging has brought on new learning and pulling on old interests.
Maybe this is what life is really – all about learning and change. We are a product of what we do and learn over the years. I just had not thought through the development I might have once I was not teaching or once I reach that point when I might use the word old in talking about myself. Teaching seemed to consume all my thinking when I was younger – that and my family. Now there is space for new explorations. There is time to reflect and see that there is another part of who I am.
I am still a wife. I have children who are now adults and off on their own but I have added Grandma to my list of who I am. The role of Grandma takes over a great deal of time since we are caring for him while Momma teaches and Daddy works. I am still blogging once a week but the story writing I have put to the side for now. Not gone but resting I guess. Gardening and researching about climate changes has grown in the amount of energy I give it. Really spring and summer are all about plants – veggies, flowers and anything green that grows.
I have moved to spending time drawing and painting. Something I did when I was very young and then left it behind. Now some 60 years later I am fascinated by color, and the creation with watercolor. Of course the creation is of plants. I have been putting those two worlds together – gardening and botanical painting.
I am still a reader and always will be but have moved from Children’s books and fiction to more adult books and non fiction. (although I have returned to picture books and touch and feel books for our 8 month old grandson).
Given all of this – these are the things I do and this is how I express who I am.
What I do know is that life as we get older is rich with learning. It is a time to open up to new experiences, new ways of seeing the world and new understanding of what makes us who we are. I know that who I was is not who I am now.
We are ever changing – what a wonderful world we live in.
P.S. Below are Surprise Lilies. They have many other names like naked ladies but I know them as surprise lilies and thought they fit with this post. The grow leaves in the spring with no flowers. The leaves then fade away and in the fall these lovely flowers pop up out of the ground with now leaves at all. Just a little surprise in the fading of the year. They seem to fit with my thinking these day. Life is a bit of a surprise in the autumn of my life. What a great find!
Words from JL 
I believe that we are constantly evolving. We add things to our lives while we deduct others. Things that defined us years ago no longer do as they are replaced by new things.
I so agree!
What beautiful thoughts. Yoga, gardening, reading, all stellar pursuits in my book. It is nice to learn how retirement has enriched your life in new and increasingly meaningful ways. Sifting. I hope to be there in half a decade or so myself. Thank you for sharing.
What a beautiful and relatable post, Joanne. I could identify with so much of what you wrote. I’ve been retired for almost four years and have changed in many of the ways that you have. You’ve inspired me to slice about the changes I’ve experienced. Thank you.
Your honesty in this deep reflection is heartwarming and inspiring. The question of identity and the changes it goes through is fascinating.
“What I do know is that life as we get older is rich with learning. It is a time to open up to new experiences, new ways of seeing the world and new understanding of what makes us who we are.” – my favourite lines.