just writing

I have spent the day doing the things I do everyday in this year of a pandemic. I am at home. Mason, my grandson, comes to play. We walk, we go to the park (even when it is cold). There is lunch and nap time and books to read. Evening rolls in and I read, maybe play Words with Friends, sometimes draw.

Through all of these little daily tasks I have been thinking of – what do I write about? What is happening that would be worth putting on paper right now. There are a thousand thoughts that roll through my brain but each is worth a line or two but certainly now a blog post.

There is the on going ups and downs of my health.

There is the amazing development of a grandson.

There is the crazy politics still rolling in our country.

There is the sleeping garden out in the frozen yard.

There is the feeling of letting go this holiday season and create new traditions.

There is the craziness of not wanting to cook and finding good, cheap take out since our restaurants are closed to inside seating and it is way to cold to find a patio to sit on.

______________

As I create my list maybe it is not that there are no ideas but that I am just too scattered to focus on one topic. Do you even have those days? The wanting to write but unable to settle yourself to one idea and carry through with the thoughts. When I sit to write my thoughts go silent.

In warm weather, I might go take a long walk but in early December at 6:30 pm it is turning colder and it is already dark. I am not interested in heading out now. Other times I would meet up with a friend to chat with the hopes that this might focus me but there is no meeting up with anyone in person these days.

So I need to find a new way to focus myself. A new way of creating topics that call to me and interest me in really writing. The pandemic and the quietness of my current life has me at a loss for words. As my days turn quiet, so have I. There is not as many external events to write about so I need to change my style of writing, I think.

It will be interesting to see where this takes me – I am trying hard to continue to write. I think writing helps to clarify thinking. Writing helps to keep brains moving and to keep us engaged in an active way. Reading and watching are great but they use the brain in another way. So onward I go putting words to the page.

Have any of you found these moments of silence when sitting down to write? What do you do to refocus yourself and write?

I fully understand this may be an old/retired persons issue. I am busy all day but find I have nothing to really say or that I want to say as I sit down to write. Hmmm – we will see that the next weeks bring as we move toward the end of this year and begin fresh with a new year.

About Joanne Toft

I am a retired Minneapolis Public School teacher. I walk, garden, care for my Grandson and write. Life is good!
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7 Responses to just writing

  1. arjeha says:

    This old retired person feels the same. With the routine of one day blending into the routine of the next it doesn’t feel like there is much to write about. A sentence or two seems sufficient to cover each thing that pops up during the day. It is a rut I struggle to get out of each Tuesday.

  2. Lainie Levin says:

    As someone who isn’t quite retired yet, I can still relate to there being days where I don’t have it in me to write. I don’t know if it’s lack of ideas, or ambition, or what it is. As someone who loves poetry, I’d like to think that there is something of the poetic no matter where we look – so why aren’t I writing more?

    For myself, I’ve had to learn to be patient with myself, knowing that writing will wait for me – whenever I happen to be ready for it…

  3. Beth had several slices within her slice today. It’s hard to settle the mind and pick just one sometimes, isn’t it?

    Keep enjoying the moments of growth with your grandson. I accidentally put my son’s (who is now four!) English muffin on a grown-up plate today. Do you know what he told me? “I’ve been waiting all of my life to use that plate.” He was serious. My daughter refuses to believe he said that, but he did.

    Of course, I do wonder how long he’s been pining for a porcelain plate now that he’s said that.

  4. gaiainaction says:

    And this retired person cannot focus either for the past few weeks, not sure what it is. My head is full of ideas but I cannot seem to set them on paper. I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Have a lovely time with your grandson and enjoy a lovely Christmas.

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